This Life Unmanageable

It is tempting to retake the wheel from God, after having recognized our addictions, whatever they may be, have seized control over our lives and rendered our life unmanageable. We gave our troubles to Him, realizing that left to our own devices we could not—no—we would not solve them. Our best thinking got us here. Our grandest schemes landed us near the brink of death. Life had become a prison.

Truth be told, while firmly held in their grasp, we are madly in love with our bad habits. But they are no longer just habits. They are not things we like to do. They have morphed into things we must do. We view them as breath is to life. How can something we love beyond measure hurt so much? We know, unresolved, our love for them will destroy us. Our addictions are wrought with dangers, toils, and snares. The scars they leave are permanent. Their stains seem like they will never wash out.

Our addictions steal our lives. They will kill us. So we hand them over, recognizing we need a power greater than ourselves to release us from their grasp. We no longer want to be slaves held in bondage by our addictions. We know we all must die at some time, but this is not the way we choose to go. Scrambling to salvage any remaining drop of dignity within us, we hand our lives over to God. However, not getting answers fast enough, we reach for the wheel. Failing to receive the answers we want to hear, we thirst for control.

garden-chair

Our short term memory loss cons us into believing that somehow we did it better. In truth, we know we cannot do it at all. We grasp for wisdom. We strive for courage. What is it that I can control? We know that in the depths of our addictions, we are of control. We have proven this to be the case time and time again. We cry out. “Lord, help me recognize the difference between those things that I can control and those that I can’t.”

We pray. “Help me, God, see what controls me when I fail to abide in you. Give me the patience to let you pilot the ship and navigate the road. In the midst of my struggles, I sought your help. My help comes from you. You are the source of my strength and the fountain of my power. Apart from you, everything is impossible. With you, anything is possible. Mired in the midst of my struggles help me find rest in You.”

Having fully recognized that our lives had become unmanageable, we admitted we were powerless over our addictions. We came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity and therefore, made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.

 

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